What a weekend.....I worked all weekend and find myself thoroughly exhausted. Due to HIPPA violations, I can't share much with you about my patient; however, her family has given an interview to their local paper and I can post the link to the website here. See below. (If you have questions about her care, there is very little I can share with you.) Now that I'm done working a stretch of 3 days, the emotions have sunk in. I feel as though I've been riding a bit of a rollercoaster but have put the actual experience and sensations on hold. I spoke with my Mum on Friday evening and she asked how the work day was "It was alright," I say. Funny how we separate ourselves from our experiences at times in order to continue to do the work. In my heart or in that place that just can't be touched by reason, I am hopeful. Yet, with speculation from others and the reality of how severe a condition can be, conflict can arise in oneself. I'm thankful to one of the MDs I work with who, after seeing the worried look on my face, said kindly, "Don't give up hope yet. Remember (some of our other patients who have been so sick, yet have walked out of here)". We have seen it on several occasions, people who survive despite receiving the same or similar medical algorithms that others do, who do not survive. I am confident that there is something else to all this than medicines and machines and our healthcare team's brilliant minds. Something not tangible - it's like the conditions are right. And "conditions" are a whole subtle area of life that are not necessarily able to be controlled. Well my friends, these are my thoughts. Much love and kindness to each of you.....
http://www.mailtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070629/NEWS/706290334/-1/CONTACT
3 comments:
Hi Megs. I completely understand your feelings. Sometimes you want them to get better so bad and yet you know it is almost completely impossible. I think the greatest gift we can give to these patients and families is to believe in miracles right alongside them. Not necessary medical miracles, but the kind that have no explanation, the kind that happen because they are willed to. I believe we all cross the paths we do for a reason. I think you have to believe that to make sense of things. Hope to see you soon!
Bec
Thanks, Bec. Yeah, I think you're right. What is there to be gained by being cynical? I mean we have to be objective enough to do our job, yet continue to Hope and to Love. Without these things, giving blood or medications or a bath is meaningless.
Meg
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